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Taking Arachnopomorphization too Far Since 2010

Monster Girl 3

“It’s cute when it’s the eyes. She would be cute if it was just the eyes. But you included mandibles. Seriously, what is wrong with you.”


Pteranodon With a Fedora

The hat’s a little big for him, in retrospect.

As for the overall quality of this piece, let’s just say that in a few days, you’re really not going to care.

Owl-Slug v2

Bri is not exactly fond of the whole apocalypse thing. She’s not fond of being hungry all the time, she’s not fond of any protection she ever had being stripped away while the dangers lose their manners, she’s not fond of sleeping on park benches. She’s not fond of the crazy people who used to scream about the end of days not seeming so crazy anymore, of everyone else in the world seeming more so. She’s not fond of not having seen her apartment in about six months, of knowing it’s probably torn apart, maybe even fallen over. She’d be a little bit fond of not paying for stuff if there was any stuff left not to pay for. She’s really not fond of fighting something or someone for everything. She can feel the gash on her hip from that runin with a bearfish yesterday when she was down by the river, but if she turns over, it’ll just hurt more. She’s a little bit proud she’s hardly even afraid of bearfish anymore, but she’s still definitely not fond of them existing, or any of the weird crap rising out of the sewage these days. Did these horrifying hybrids always exist, just out of the public eye, or are they new? Nobody recycles anymore, that’s for sure.

And just as she’s finally drifting off to sleep, a giant, animalistic shriek all too close shocks her awake with the sort of petrifying panic she’s come to associate with waking up.

A gigantic owl with a …slug’s? lower half. (Why are the mutants always so big? How is the streetlamp even holding its weight?) It doesn’t seem to care that she’s there and, god, she isn’t even scared, either. Just annoyed.

Yeah. The apocalypse thing is getting old.

Hoh god this is late. Sorry about that. But it’s finally happened: a colored version of the owl-slug that I actually like. It occurs to me that I finished the original drawing around this time last year. I’d spent weeks working on it, drawing rows and rows of what turned out to be biologically inaccurate feathers, doing the pattern on the right wing, repositioning the head, working out the kinks in the flow of the feathers around the eyes. I even put three little stripes (not included in the colored version because it would have given me carpel tunnel) on every single feather. It was that wonderful sort of drawing that never goes wrong and never feels rushed, I just worked on little bits of it when I could, and eventually it was finished. I remember that for days after I finally decided it was done, I carried it around in my backpack (as I did all my drawings, to be fair) and pulled it out to show anyone who would look. Oh, those days before I discovered the internet.

I really didn’t mean for this to get so sunlighty, but, god, I just love sunlight so much. Also, when I first drew it, I wanted it to be a three panel comic (one for Bri sleeping on the bench while the owl-slug lands silently on the streetlamp, one for the wakeup call, and one for her realizing it’s just another gigantic, indifferent mutant and calming down) but by the time I finished this, I realized there was no way I could draw the owl-slug again on that scale.


This is the midgeon. Wings, rat tail, whiskers, and no observable appendages. When it does not fly, it rolls.

Happy Easter

May all your eggs be bubblegum, and all your romantic entanglements full of angst.

Radio Trees v2

The old version of this has been bugging me for a really long time, especially because it’s what I named the blog for and I feel like it should look more finished, so I finally redid it. It kind of happened the way Hannah did: it started out like, “hey, this is a thing I could try,” and then suddenly it had been five hours and I was a quarter of the way through and had no interest in doing anything else until the drawing was done.

So. Yeah. Here. I feel like I should save this for some special occasion (anniversary, 1000th view, etc.), but I’m awful at withholding awesome stuff.


This is a radio tree. No one really knows how they work. The trees are supposed to be non-sentient since they have never spoken to anyone or moved. There is a dial in the middle of each radio. It does absolutely nothing.

This is George. Come Josephine makes him nervous. So do cornfields, bubblegum, Pacman, and things that move too fast.

Oh, sidebar: guess who’s getting a DeviantArt account? I was talking to my friend, Sallie, and she suggested it, and I told her she was a genius and then a couple minutes later my phone died and hung up on her and I couldn’t call her back. So… Sorry, Sallie. Thank you for being a genius. Anyway, you can see the profile here, although the only big difference will be that you can buy prints over there, and you can see more of my work over here. If you’ve got an account, though, you should definitely say hi.

I Am Fed Up With This Rotten Tomato Eating Dandelions

I told you I’d make something weird eventually.

Right, so the story behind this one is that once, I was telling a friend of mine a story, and he kept interrupting, so we finally agreed I’d just tell him the whole thing again, and he wouldn’t talk ’til I said, “I’m fed up with this rotten tomato eating dandelions.” I said I’d draw it someday, and now I have. Yaaay.

Ursus Felitristenasus

“Its nose keeps switching between crying out of laughter and sadness while he plays tea and drinks chess…” -Devin

Dominick had once had a complete chess set, as well as a proper hat, but he traded the hat to a nomadic musician during a bad storm (mostly out of kindness, the trumpet had been broken even when it was given to him), and he lost most of the chess pieces because of little things, like when Benjamin needed a horse to get somewhere on time and The Great Swamp Sink of Summer. He doesn’t really mind, but it’s getting harder to play chess properly… (That and, until Benjamin gets back, he won’t have anyone to play with.)

The book titles, in order: Pour Mademoiselle, Dealing With Depression, Creationism, and Canadians: They’re Not Like Us. The chess pieces are a Troll doll, a rook, an engagement ring, a pawn, a Monopoly top hat, and a di.

Triceratops With A Sunhat

He was unsure what the thing was, but it was a pretty color and made him feel handsome.

Can be bought and worn on your body here.

Apatosaurus With Fairy Wings And A Top Hat

The apatosaurus studied the location of the sun above it and reflected that it may not make it to the tea party on time. It furrowed its brows and attempted to fly faster.

Origin story (recorded in November 2011): I was at an aikido seminar in Roxbury, at lunch, trying to figure out something to draw because Mom gave my egg salad sandwich to an unfortunate Canadian fellow, so I had eaten what I did have (some chips) and I was bored. I said to my friend, Malcolm, “What should I draw?” He said, “A tyrannosaurus rex with rocket skates.”

And then I guess I just completely ignored him or something, because I haven’t got a drawing of a tyrannosaurus rex with rocket skates lying around. (I think I found some food at that point.) But then I got home and remembered the conversation about a week later. Huge, flightless dinosaurs flying was a fairly funny idea, and so I ended up drawing the improvement upon Malcolm’s suggestion that you see before you. It only took about ten minutes, but quickly became my most popular drawing. Friends, family, and Facebook acquaintances loved it, and my wonderful friend, Mira, who has her own shop on Skreened, even suggested I put it on a shirt. I went for it, and when I saw the interest it garnered, it became apparent that I might be able to do more with my drawings than devote a Facebook album to them. So I did, and thus Radio Trees was born.

So, clearly, a thank you is in order. Dear Canadian fellow who ate my egg salad: thank you. Without your hunger and my mother’s charity, I would have had an uninteresting lunch free of artistic endeavors, never asked Malcolm for inspiration, ignored his suggestion, drawn the illustration above, made my fortune of four dollars (and counting!) off THE SHIRT YOU CAN BUY of said illustration, and created this blog, which I love dearly. I will always be grateful to you.

Oh, and thanks, Malcolm.

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